![]() If a good sex life was as easy as putting part A into part B, I’d be out of a job as a relationship therapist. When your mind is reserved for honouring your spouse, you’ll have better sex. There’s power in guiding your thoughts, eliminating toxic thinking and replacing critical thoughts with thoughts of love, appreciation, gratitude and respect for your spouse. Contempt, bitterness and negativity toward your spouse can simmer in your mind, eroding your desire. Second, you can fill your mind with critical thoughts. First, you can fill your mind with unhealthy thoughts: Lust, fantasy and pornography habits are a toxic way to erode your desire for your spouse. ![]() There are two ways your thoughts can destroy your sex life. Guide your thoughtsĭid you know that your brain is one of your most powerful sexual organs? That’s because so much of what happens in the bedroom is rooted in the thoughts you have throughout the day. Take inventory of the health of your marriage, and then get to work! 2. Do you need to do some relational work? No amount of sexual strategy or technique can improve your sex life if the problem stems from something deeper. ![]() Do you have a conflict you haven’t resolved or a disappointment you haven’t expressed? Maybe you’re simply lacking emotional and spiritual connection with each other.īecause the fuel for your sex life comes from the effort you put into your relationship, use the status of your sex life as a relationship litmus test. Many times, your relationship problems get in the way of good sex. When it comes to having better sex, what happens above the sheets in marriage is just as significant as what happens under the sheets. The health of your relationship is the fuel that keeps your sex life burning brightly. Here are four ways to improve your sex life, no matter what age or stage you’re in. And know that a healthy sex life isn’t about having more sex, it’s about having better sex. A better sex life isn’t something that just happens along the way, it’s something you have to create. We can learn so many life lessons from the process of becoming better lovers.Īnd while those lessons don’t have an age limit, they do require some intentionality. We’re invited to love, serve, and be sensitive to and aware of our spouse’s needs. When we have sex with our spouse, we’re given the opportunity to give and receive in the most vulnerable ways. That’s because I believe the two can go hand in hand. But when we put that gift on the back burner of life as many married couples often end up doing, we miss out on the process of becoming better people just as much as we miss out on the process of becoming better lovers. In fact, an entire book of the Bible (Song of Solomon) is dedicated to the beautiful exchange of sexual intimacy between a husband and wife. Sex is a gift from our masterful Creator. But in my work with thousands of couples as a licensed professional counsellor, I’ve seen that we have more power to influence our sex lives than we realise. We’re told to enjoy sex while we’re in our prime because the end of sexual desire is a given and we’re powerless over the outcome. We’re often fed the lie that sex only diminishes with age, and that eventually, we won’t even be interested in sex. If I told you that your sex life could get better with time, would you believe me? Sex is a gift God gave to husbands and wives, so why not learn how to enjoy it to the fullest?
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